Well someone ought to be shot!
One of the biggest problems when you are trying to launch an internet business is that, with almost everything you have to do, you are faced with techno-babble and instructions that are downright gibberish.
When you are faced with this sort of nonsense, don’t let it go. Have a shot at the culprits. And join my crusade to DEMAND PLAIN ENGLISH!!
One company that has infuriated me in this respect is Hostgator. Here is the salvo I fired off at them …
Hostgator: here is what I think …
Frankly, whoever wrote your instruction pages should be skinned alive, boiled in a vat of oil, strung up on a gibbet … and then punished!
Your ‘helpful’ instructions are anything but. Indeed they are a jumble of jargon, gobbledygook, assumptions and ambiguity. It is amazing! Isn’t that EXACTLY what instructions should NOT be?
Your writer is correct about one thing: the whole process is actually quite simple. So he cannot even explain something that is really perfectly straightforward. How clever is that?
It is no wonder you need a 24/7 helpline!
OK, no doubt the people working for you are very clever. But clever clogs often cannot understand why the average idiot, like me, can’t understand. You know, you would save yourselves a lot of trouble if you bothered to get a really good teacher to rewrite your instructions. Not, by the way, someone who just thinks they can teach (I am afraid there are plenty of that sort about).
Here is a suggestion about how instructions should be written:
Imagine you are chained to a chair on top of a bomb. The bomb goes off if anyone following your directions makes a mistake. Then you might write more clearly and intelligently!
You could make a game of this. However, in your case, I really think it might help if you were to use a real bomb!
For more suggestions on how to write good, clear instructions please visit my blog: http://matgallaugher.com (The Internet Launchpad)
There you will see that, as part of my Demand Plain English Campaign, I am reproducing this memo, and my thoughts about Hostgator. But I will make you this promise …
If you are good enough to rewrite your instructions clearly, then just let me know. I will check for myself and, if satisfied, I will happily add a postscript congratulating you, thanking you, and recommending your service to my visitors.
Look, I know you are by no means the only company guilty of producing such gobbledygook garbage. Indeed, don’t you see that you could get a huge jump ahead of your competition, if you sorted out this problem? It’s simple:You would win more clients if you wrote more clearly!
Please act on my advice. I hope to hear from you soon.
Mat Gallaugher
PS: Don’t take my threats to skin you alive and boil you in oil too literally. Give me time to calm down, and I may actually give you a choice!
Will it make any difference? Who knows, but if enough of us complained, I think companies would take notice. So when one deserves it, fire off a missive or give them a blast on your blog. DEMAND PLAIN ENGLISH!
By the way, because hosting is so important for the success of your internet business, I am preparing a report on what you should look for, and what you should expect from your web host. Watch out for that.