Well someone ought to be shot!
One of the biggest problems when you are trying to launch an internet business is that, with almost everything you have to do, you are faced with techno-babble and instructions that are downright gibberish.
When you are faced with this sort of nonsense, don’t let it go. Have a shot at the culprits. And join my crusade to DEMAND PLAIN ENGLISH!!
One company that has infuriated me in this respect is Hostgator. Here is the salvo I fired off at them …
Hostgator: here is what I think …
Frankly, whoever wrote your instruction pages should be skinned alive, boiled in a vat of oil, strung up on a gibbet … and then punished!
Your ‘helpful’ instructions are anything but. Indeed they are a jumble of jargon, gobbledygook, assumptions and ambiguity. It is amazing! Isn’t that EXACTLY what instructions should NOT be?
Your writer is correct about one thing: the whole process is actually quite simple. So he cannot even explain something that is really perfectly straightforward. How clever is that?
It is no wonder you need a 24/7 helpline!
OK, no doubt the people working for you are very clever. But clever clogs often cannot understand why the average idiot, like me, can’t understand. You know, you would save yourselves a lot of trouble if you bothered to get a really good teacher to rewrite your instructions. Not, by the way, someone who just thinks they can teach (I am afraid there are plenty of that sort about).
Here is a suggestion about how instructions should be written:
Imagine you are chained to a chair on top of a bomb. The bomb goes off if anyone following your directions makes a mistake. Then you might write more clearly and intelligently!
You could make a game of this. However, in your case, I really think it might help if you were to use a real bomb!
For more suggestions on how to write good, clear instructions please visit my blog: http://matgallaugher.com (The Internet Launchpad)
There you will see that, as part of my Demand Plain English Campaign, I am reproducing this memo, and my thoughts about Hostgator. But I will make you this promise …
If you are good enough to rewrite your instructions clearly, then just let me know. I will check for myself and, if satisfied, I will happily add a postscript congratulating you, thanking you, and recommending your service to my visitors.
Look, I know you are by no means the only company guilty of producing such gobbledygook garbage. Indeed, don’t you see that you could get a huge jump ahead of your competition, if you sorted out this problem? It’s simple:You would win more clients if you wrote more clearly!
Please act on my advice. I hope to hear from you soon.
Mat Gallaugher
PS: Don’t take my threats to skin you alive and boil you in oil too literally. Give me time to calm down, and I may actually give you a choice!
Will it make any difference? Who knows, but if enough of us complained, I think companies would take notice. So when one deserves it, fire off a missive or give them a blast on your blog. DEMAND PLAIN ENGLISH!
By the way, because hosting is so important for the success of your internet business, I am preparing a report on what you should look for, and what you should expect from your web host. Watch out for that.
Hey there, Mat.
Your little crusade is amusing and struck a chord with me. Hence why I’m taking five minutes to actually comment on your post at your skeleton of a blog (hey, every comment helps)
If you find that you are faced with techno-babble and instructions that seem like gibberish perhaps you shouldn’t try to launch an internet business in the first place. Making sure you understand the technology behind your business is likely the very first step you should take. Read some books, get a solid idea of what makes your business run.
If you’re looking for someone else to spell out everything for you in big, bold, letters you probably shouldn’t be shooting for any sort of ‘internet business’. I’d suggest some sort of hand-holding hosting provider that doesn’t provide the more powerful and advanced tools (like perhaps http://www.easyhosting.com/, no idea if they’re good, just Googled it). Like you say, ’since hosting is so important for the success of your internet business’ perhaps you should take take the time to educate yourself on how things work. Reading up on the WWW, web-servers, HTML and PHP coding and such in general is probably a good idea.
Demanding the documentation to be dumbed down to the the point where your blind, deaf and senile grandmother ‘understands it’ is hardly the way to go. To quote one of the replies (it’s a great comparison) from the forum thread you posted your ’salvo’ in, “they are not here to ‘teach’ you how to do anything hosting related. When you purchase a car you don’t get lessons on either how to drive it nor how to dismantle or service the engine.” To learn how to do that you look elsewhere, learn the basics, build on that.
I hope anyone that considers taking any advice from you will think twice since you come across as having no idea what you are talking about. You seem like someone who is cast in the ‘internet get rich quick schemes’ form and likes to lash out at things at random because they, with their ‘XX years of internet experience’, finds something hard to follow.
Anyhow, your post was an entertaining read! You’ve got yourself a reader. Great start.
Brad H.
“We all start somewhere.”
I use Hostgator. I am curious as to which instructions infuriate you.
It’s been awhile since I used their knowledge base but I get my sites up and running successfully using them.
I tend to go to the forum first now if I have a question. Hostgator does have active forums with knowledgeable contributors. I wish they would put up a wiki.
While there are a lot of html, css, and seo sites there do not seem to be any good basic web site management sites.
Hi Brad,
Thanks for your comment. I am glad you found my diatribe amusing. I was trying to cushion some severe criticism with a bit of humour. At the same time, I wanted Hostgator to know how much they infuriate some, and probably a lot, of their clients.
Now, I agree with much of what you say, but I have this to say …
You think I don’t know what I am talking about. Good! Because, basically, my blog is intended to be the story of how an ordinary
bloke, who knows nothing about it, can succeed on the internet. Newbies following in my footsteps will learn from me, not because I
am a know-it-all, but precisely because I am not. They will learn from my mistakes. They will learn what I find most helpful, and
who I find most helpful.
Obviously, at this stage my site is pretty skeletal. I won’t really be promoting it until there is much more content. But my ambition is
that, in time, it will become a much more professional, value-packed source of help for other people wanting to start an internet busness.
You quote one of my critics. (I have noticed elsewhere how, when some newbie displays a lack of knowledge, some smug character
with a superior attitude will pour scorn on them) He says it is not Hostgator’s job to teach me. As I replied to him: what is the pur-
pose of their instructions, if not to teach how to use their service?
Look, people generally learn to drive before they buy a car. But, generally, people have to invest in a web hosting service before they can learn to use it. I don’t think Hostgator want to confine their sales to people who already have a degree in PHP, do you? So it is incumbent upon them to give good CLEAR instructions. Remember, like me, a lot of new clients will have little knowledge, and will be trying to grasp things late at night, with their brain buzzing after a hard day’s work.
The fact is, even I could do a better job of writing HG’s Getting Started instructions … and that is a measure of the problem!
They could do with the help of a professional teacher. Now, I learned long ago that there are good teachers, bad teachers, and teachers who can’t teach at all! It was always the poor teachers who were derisory, said that you weren’t working hard enough, and gave you the cane (At least they were good at something!) But here is what one world-renowned educator tells his pupils: “If you find something difficult, it is not your problem; it’s mine!”
See the difference? (And guess who made his fortune from teaching!)
Anyway, who is doing HG a favour? – my critics who imply their instructions are fine. Or me, who says: You can do better!
It is in HG’s best interest to do all they can to help newbies. That way they will keep on being customers. Over time, losing a single client can cost them $1,000. And, by recommending a rival, each one they lose may cost far more.
Brad, I know I have a lot of work to do, and a lot to learn. At this stage, I still have to learn what I need to learn. So thanks for taking the time to give me some tips.
Mat
PS: By the way, I am never falling for another get-rich-quick scheme. I did the lottery for a whole month and didn’t even win a single million!
PPS: Isn’t it precisely because they don’t expect money to fall into their lap, that people start an internet business?
I would appreciate more visual materials, to make your blog more attractive, but your writing style really compensates it. But there is always place for improvement
I recently started using hostgator, and found these coupons:
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I know the coupon ‘1centhosting’ works good, but I’m sure the others do as well.
Best wishes.